My son was born 11-20-73 in Ponce, Puerto Rico and died 4-13-99 in Orlando, Florida. 

His favorite color was blue and his favorite song that he sang all day before he died was "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden. He loved all sports. He played Football , hockey and basketball in high school. He also did Judo, Wrestling, skiing, surfing and bowling. He loved playing baseball and belonged to a team from work. He was a straight "A" student since he started first grade and kept that all the way through college. 

He has so many friends and was full of love for everybody. He would run different marathons to raise money for children and cancer. All his friends went to his funeral in Florida. He went to Michigan State University and also after that at night after work went to The University of Phoenix, Michigan Campus. 

We moved to Michigan in 1985 from Puerto Rico and he loved it. 

He enjoyed life every day to the fullest and during summer went to the lake and rode his Sea Doo. He owned two motorcycles. He was riding his favorite one when he died, a Kawasaki. 

I remember one day that he invited a friend to play baseball and he said he couldn't go because he had no glove. My son stopped at a store and bought him one so he could go. 

I received a letter from the wife of the president of the company he use to work for. She said that every time she went and visited her husband my son would be so kind and polite. That he always had a smile that lit up the room and that she had never met some one so loving and considerate.

Felipe was my pride and joy and will forever be with me. 

His name was Felipe Antonio Pagan. 

Felipe is survived by his older brother Angel, 27, his cousins, his Aunts and uncles that loved him very much. 

I couldn't talk the day you died, I am sorry son. 
My heart was hurting, my body shaking. 
 I was not sure of what was happening 
All  I could hear were screams and tears. 
They sound so clear, they sound so near, so real!!!! 
 I realized they were inside, inside my ears. 
The sounds I heard came from my heart came from inside.  The pain was 
loud, so clear, that even now I feel the fear.  The terror felt was so 
unreal,  out of this world!!!! 

 My brain went numb, so I could walk and I could see.  I followed orders 
given to me.  I stood and sat where I was told, I drank and ate what I 
was given. 
 

I went with all of them and laid there still until they took you out to 
rest in peace.  Even today I can remember only that day, but when I 
think of when I heard the news that you have left, I have to stop. 
Remembering that moment is still so hard it hurts too much.  Up to this 
day, my darling son,  I can not handle the dreadful moment  I was told 
that you were dead. 

 I should have found some how the strength to tell all there how I felt. 
How proud I was of  you.  That from the moment you were borne until you 
died, all I received from you was joy.     You were so strong, quiet and 
warm.  You were obedient, intelligent and full of love for every one.
 You knew the meaning of true friendship and loyalty to all, adult and 
young.  You knew my son, how to be brave, how to be a man and showed the 
way. 
 

You clearly confront the fear at hand. You pushed your self more each
day and dare to challenged life in every way. 
 

Every one there should have known that If you felt fear you didn't show
it, kept it inside.  Why? You wanted friends and family alike to come to 
you and find a friend that they could trust and count on.  You were so 
strong, my love, my baby son, now gone!!!!! 
 

I know all that and more, my son.  I know how strong you were when
daddy died and helped me walked that road.  You took my hand and 
promised me that you would be right by my side. That you would take good
care of me. 
 

You hurt so bad but kept on going strong. Because when have given some
one your word, you knew the meaning of keeping promises and never ever
broke any of them. 
 

I will go on, not because others tell me so, but because I have to tell
the world about my son.  I have to tell them how you loved and that once 
you have given some one your love, you were with them in good and bad.
You kept on going all the way. 
 

What no one knows is that your love and strength stayed here with  me. 
That everyday I see your face here in my brain so clear,  I see your
smile, your eyes that were so bright. 
 

Don't worry son, I'll make you proud, just like you made me.  I'll give 
out love to those in need, just like you did.  I'll be a clown and bring 
a smile to those in pain, just like you did. 

 I'll go and see the sea and feel the breeze, just like you did.  I love 
you son, thank you for all the joys, the laughs and all your  hugs. You 
brought he sun into my life and for that reason I'll keep a light 
burning inside. 
 

Mami, 
For Felipe/Forever 25 
11-20-73/4-13-99 

Left Angel Vicente ( Felipe's older brother) ,Mom and right Felipe. Dec 12th, 1998 

 

Felipe's Brother and Cousins

 

Felipe dancing with his aunt , my sister Carmen 

Poems In Memory of Felipe A. Pagan

Living Without My Angel